After many years of new age, religion and metaphysics nothing really gave me any results or made any sense. I knew I was withdrawn, and somewhat depressed. I was also in a lot of digestive pain. I was at the doctors office a lot trying to figure out what was wrong, but not really getting anywhere.
The beginning of the pain:
Enter Body Electronics. I paid my money to learn the basics over 2 weekends. I had only heard a few stories about B.E. from one person, and read a few bits and pieces on information I had received about it, in a leaflet, just before the seminar.
I knew that it included a nutritional component, including probiotics, essential fats, fresh and raw eating and minerals. And something called pointholding.
Just learning about the nutritional side was enough to send me into healing crisis almost immediately.. (you mean I can’t eat bread?!). There was also a lot of theory regarding the process / phenomenon of B.E. and how suppressed memory arises as pain, until we stop resisting and re-experience the original trauma or story.
We were then taught that we operate mainly from this unconscious level and this is what ultimately drives our behaviour and choices, including our health. The pointholding process tackles this aspect with nutrition as the foundation to good health.
I was very nervous. Those parts of us which resist – they don’t want to change. We like to stay in balance and not feel our pain. There were some parts of me which must have known something was going to happen. I was very interested and also freaked out. Those parts of me were becoming uneasy and they were right! Their time was up!
Looking back at myself.
I didn’t really understand or know what I was getting myself into in the beginning of those B.E. sessions. I had no idea how depressed I really was, it would be a long journey of uncovering what was going on at the back of my head and in my body. But B.E. was the only thing I found at the time that made any real sense to me, and actually helped me feel something which seemed real and authentic. It also gave me tools to use to actually deal with my pain, unlike the preaching of religion, or the crap of new age.
Why is it all so familiar?
Putting the nutritional component aside, just holding points was extremely painful for me at first. It tipped me into healing crisis very easily.
I didn’t have to try that hard to get something to happen. The pain would become so intense!!! and I was only holding points!! I was not on the table being held myself. Something was so familiar about the pain (arising memory). Occasionally it would bubble up and I would go into process and Jenny would facilitate me and work me through my word patterns. Other times I would just resist and endure. It was a love / hate relationship. I would also have a really strong tummy ache / bloating every time I started to hold a point, but I never said anything about this as I though it was normal (not though).
Gut aches galore.
Yes despite nutritionally tackling my IBS it would flare up every time I was pointholding. It would be at least six months before I realised it had improved, and many years before I realised I was not having gut aches and relentless symptoms every day. Also, the excruciating pain of holding points lessened over time as well. It wasn’t until years later that I remembered how painful it used to be.
My first session being held.
And then I got on the table. Nothing happened for a while. But something was familiar.. some resistance somewhere.. some feeling. I had two holders and one person was floating around – who is called the facilitator. His job was to assist.
We started at 6pm. The points started to burn and sometime after that I became annoyed and irritated. After a few hours I figured out my word pattern – it was something like “I hate this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “and I just went off!
Bob had to hold me down as I wanted to kick them all off me and run away! Yes, I was held down (so the holders could get back on the points, and not run away) and then Bob decreed the entity (will discuss later).
While I then kept expressing my word patterns (very emotionally), I was then asked to look for memory, but I think it found me pretty quick without any real need to search for it. My arm fell to the side of me and half off the table, and it started to hurt. I then felt like I was in a bubble. Trapped. I felt like no one would help me or touch me (despite the point holders holding my points, but they felt a million miles away on the other side of this bubble). I really just wanted to be “helped” so of course I had to feel and re experience the feelings of begin helpless (as the theory of B.E. mentions). For the next few hours I stayed in that space whimpering and feeling sorry for myself.
My details are a bit fuzzy but as I was already in the memory all I needed to to was re-expreince the trauma / situation (as if I had a choice!). Somehow I realised that I was in a crib – I knew I was premature baby, but I had never really thought about the crib before, to any great length previous to then).
Eventually all the burning subsided and the points cooled down as I calmed down and returned to a new level of balance. I got off the table at 12 midnight. During the session Chelsea the dog licked the hand which was hanging off the table ,while I was expressing how I just wanted to be touched (or something like that), awww.
I felt sorry for myself, confused and amazed for days after that.
Uncovering the urge to die.
Then next time I was on the table a few weeks later I didn’t have strong emotion or a reaction like the first, but I realised my word pattern after a few hours of the points burning. What I said was something that I never would have said in my own life. It wasn’t in my conscious awareness before that session, not until the burning and point holding worked through the resistance.
“I want to die” or something like that were the words which came out of my mouth. Getting rid of that bugger was very very exhausting. No wonder some part of me didn’t like that I was learning all this stuff. It was content in its hiding place all snug and thought that it was safe (so to speak).
To suddenly realise what was inside me and never being able to express it up to that point was scary. Over the next few years amongst many other stories and word patters, I had a lot of “I want to dies”. Sometimes in clusters and other times out of the blue in between other stories.
Off the table I started to feel and experience a lot of depression and exhaustion in life – it was always there – only now I was feeling it instead of suppressing it. I slowly steamed off the emotions and stories behind them all. This took many years and was a windy road. Thankfully this process gave me a space and tools to start to tackle it all. And I stuck with it. The nutritional components and the pointholding process itself: I drank my flax oil, minerals and ate raw veggies and stopped eating processed foods, meat and sugars. I fasted, detoxed and cleansed. And I burned.
From Apathy to Grief.
After years of sessions which seemed so be hard and surround in apathy, I started to cry a lot more. Something I never really experienced in my life since I was very young. But this is was a good sign and showed me that I was changing and becoming a feeling and thinking person, that I was starting to become alive after a life of beige. Over the next 15 years more and more memories gradually re-surfaced during the process of pointhoding.
To get better sometimes you just have to feel the pain, even if you don’t know what it’s about.
When we point hold, holding in itself can be just as amazing as being held.
While simply holding points (and not being held) I have experienced memories and stories (whilst in intense pain), to suddenly fade away once I felt it and looked at it (as we say in the group).
Some people gain more from holding points than from begin held. When one gentleman I met was on the table, and was held, rarely received or re-experienced anything. However just by holding, his fingers would excruciatingly burn for hours. The person on the table had to wait until the pointholder finally finished whimpering, crying and resisting the burn before they could go home.
From what I remember the fellow in question suffered from Chronic Fatigue. This was part of his own recovery and he slowly got better doing it this way. Walking across the room was a struggle for him once. But following the principles of Dr John, he quickly (I think 12 months) got better – I would never had though he had CFS and he is still going good.
The burning can be a bitch. But amazing things can happen.
Pain is essential for point holding. Unfortunately. But when you experience pain then follow the process, often the pain can instantly changes to bliss or peace or laughter, and your understanding of pain changes. This process can go very deep.
The pain will always eventually stop anyway, but if you apply the thought / feeling / word principle, along with minerals and a good attitude, an intense session of extreme and traumatic pain can result in enlightenment or even a healing experience.
There are points called triple access clavicle points which requires two holders. In past sessions the pain took me to a level that I had never experienced before. I hit anger quickly but was not able to get past my resistance / defence mechanisms to even be willing to go within and re experience the stories and memories behind it all. I remember on one occasion that I was in so much anger and pain but I couldn’t express myself and I was stuck in ever increasing pain (and anger).. but that feeling of familiarity was also there. I gave up in at least one sessions despite the points not finishing properly (avoidance). And it took me a while to find balance again.
After that I had a break through. A few years later while having those points held yet again the pain was at an extreme level, and I thought I wasn’t able to get through the session again – that I would be badly hurt and permanently damaged both physically and mentally. However I somehow persisted and was determined and I (finally!) managed to stay in the method and find clear memory. I believe that those previous sessions slowly prepared me and helped burn away resistance – which is basically the theory of how B.E. works.
Whilst in that incredible pain, I saw myself in the crib again and my word pattern was the demand “listen to me!!” and I ran it as the burning and pain continued. After a while I remembered that my mother was pretty much born deaf. How could she always hear me? The penny dropped as I realised this and I was then in hysterics. I ran the duality (will discuss later) and the extreme pain within minutes just ended. I was in a very enlightened and good mood for days after that experience. I realised quite a few new things during that penny drop state and “cool down period”. Those points have since been easier to have held, with new memories surfacing since.
Faith in the process.
This brings me to the next important observation. When having or holding skeletal points the pain level can become so great you can seriously second guess the whole process and those around you. Fear will arise quickly as you eventually hit anger. This has happened to me on several occasions, but when I followed the process, the pain would often suddenly change. Other times I would just have to endure the pain and awfulness until it stopped hurting, despite my best efforts to look at the pain.
Addicted to the burn.
Feeling your pain and the process of examining a resistance can also be addictive in a sense. Its feels amazing to feel all this stuff is within you. And to help someone else through their own pain is equally rewarding. I spent all of my money on travel and supplements to “get better” while everyone at college, and other friends I knew, went to night clubs, talked it up, beat their chest, did drugs, steroids or were just general surface dwellers (I’m jealous). I wanted to get better, understand myself and go deep. I focussed on health and survival rather than live for the now.
Six month mark – IBS improvement.
My symptoms definitely improved. No longer was I in pain every single – it was better the daily copious amounts of mucous was lessening and my bowel movements were more regular. Although constipation is still present my diarrhoea went away.
Eye colour Changes.
When we first started B.E. we had close up eye photographs taken when we were taught the basics of iridology and sclerology, an essential part of B.E.
I remember looking in the mirror and not being able to see anything but brown. I couldn’t see anything beyond this brown at all. Not even some part of my iris fibre structure, which while looking at other eyes in the group I could easily see in theirs. This was the same when checking those photos/slides to get a close up. Unfortunately I never kept those original photos/slides as I i didn’t really understand what I was embarking upon in the beginning.
After six months my eyes were checked and re photographed and to my amazement they had lightened drastically in colour. I could even see in my iris clearly in the mirror now. I could see all the spokes and shapes.
After 15 years my eye are more hazel now with green in them if you look closely. Those parts which iridologists say/describes or reflects my digestive system – its pretty shocking. But improved slightly when I compare to earlier photos.
The fainters and the pukers.
Pointholders often experience unusual things. Fainting is not uncommon. The holder starts to feel unwell, dizzy and if not caught or held up will fall to the floor. It is important to try and have them hold the points (usually someone else who is not holding will hold them up) while they recover, if this is possible.
I’ve had to hold people up. Once a lady fell to the ground after holding a point on my nose, but no one was around to help. I have also had someone else puke while holding the Triple Axis Clavicle points (we caught the puke in a bucket I could feel it splatter while the bucket was on my chest and I was lying on the table in pain).
Another time while those same points were held my friend started to black out, and I had to hold him up and then help him process through it and stay lucid. Fun times.
Every word pattern has its own unique duality (which is not always a duality).
While examining and feeling your pain we use word patterns to express our feelings. As the points burn and we start to move into discernment from entrapment we often experience a natural duality to those word patterns.
Sometimes it’s not natural and we must then search for integration/understanding as the points keep burning and we say the word patterns out loud.
But if you persist eventually a new thought will arise and you merge these two thoughts together. You do this mentally, while still at the memory and feeling any sensations in your body (often a vibration at this point).Its difficult to describe and something to experience. Its like a connection forms but its taken me years to really “get it”.
For example, I want to die may turn to I don’t want to die and you may say this out loud for several minutes while embracing, no, I don’t want to die anymore…
However this is not always true. My first I want to die did not end up a I don’t want to die. It was “yes I want to die”. But this was enough at the time to get to the next resistance and keep moving forward. It was also an understanding of the memory and acceptance of how I felt at the time (which I had no idea was underneath the surface). The points usually quickly cool after your duality presents itself and the emotion dies down – this is a good sign.
It took many years to finally get to “I don’t want to die”.
Another example: “I want to run away” may not end up with a new thought of “I want to stay or not run away”, It may end up an understanding of “of course I wanted to run away, I was in danger, I was doing the right thing, I was doing the right thing at the time”. And you may simply end up with the duality of “I was protecting myself” or whatever is right for you.
The agenda of facilitators’ and those around you.
The ability to have a facilitator be impartial and mind their own business is imperative but difficult to find.
Once I had a facilitator disagree with my own conclusion / duality process and it was very dangerous for this person to get involved like this. In fact it was disgusting behaviour on her part. It does not matter if you or another person disagrees with your own duality or integration, memory or understanding . Its personal. Your job as a point holder is to simply give feedback on the points as word patterns are expressed and duality is achieved.
However many people do not understand this process even though they believe they do.
This same women also disagreed with my memory experience I was trying to piece together. I was in an extremely vulnerable process and memory that I was re-expreincing and she decided to tell me what she thought happened. Her own selfish agenda took hold and she forgot the important rule of minding her own business. She also involved another person who was holding points to back her up (WTF!!).
Only work with those who support your own process. I have since had that same memory arise several times and it has never corroborated that woman’s own personal view. In fact as the memory became clearer over time it ended up going into a direction I had not ever considered before and resolved something quite personal and important in my own life.
I approached those two women (separately) about this situation months later the main instigator refused to believe she had done anything wrong and she did not nor would not ever do lead or get involved (denial). She is someone who I will ever point hold with again. The other apologised.
Even just encouraging someone on the table and saying :”its ok, i know it was tough, you’re safe now” can be completely counter productive.
Once the memory has been found ONLY use the words and phrases that the pointholdee uses. Introduce nothing else. Only open ended questions that never lead or interfere. The aim is to re-expereince as if you were there again. Help them get there and mind you own business. Also, do not gossip.
I have noticed that many rebirthers give a lot of advice and do what Dr John says not to do. This is poor behaviour and shows a lack of real understanding of what they are doing.
A good facilitator can make an incredible difference to a point holding. Someone who doesn’t understand their role here can make it really difficult.
Opinions in general.
The world of point holding is full of a lot of information stories and advice. You will also meet a lot of people who are into conspiracies, any new age thing under the sun, psychic phenomena, ascension, ascended masters, nutrition and a lot of it is rubbish.
At first I was drawn into a lot of this stuff.
There is also homophobia in this system. Dr John in my opinion was homophobic. As mentioned in previous posts, when I started I was not the same person I was now and I took a lot of it on board and felt like utter shite and this caused a lot of stress. Many people believe they are helping by telling me I will change and it is my resistances that created my “condition”. Unfortunately many still don’t get it and don’t mind their own business.
The idea is to examine your own resistances and to mind your own business but when you are gay for some reason it seems ok for Dr John and those around me to give their opinions about it.
It can be hard going to a BE pointholding session not knowing if you are supported or not, or if you are going to receive an negative opinion about your sexuality (as if any of us have any real choice being who we are).
Fortunately I have grown through a lot of it.
Entities (seriously I typed that)
A word pattern can also be treated as an entity in certain situations. Without going into it too much detail, when the words are expressed intensely, the breath may go cold. The area around the table may also go cold. Often there is also a change in voice and some other strange things may happen (face looks really different, bad breath etc). A decree is said and then the process of duality is attempted.
Strangely we have often had a dog at many sessions over the years. Despite the crying, screaming and pain involved the dogs in question don’t usually worry about the craziness us humans are up to. But when an entity arises the same dogs have suddenly growled or barked and come over to have a squizz. And then not care again quite once the procedure is finished.
I once saw a woman acting out and expressing animal entities – that of a cat if I remember correctly. The dog in the room, Chelsea suddenly got excited and went for the woman, and we had to hold the dog away until the woman returned to normal.
In my own experience sometimes I have not been able to shake or work through a word pattern until it has been intensified and treated like an entity. And then I have been able to find a duality or new memory behind those words.
Perhaps its a load of rubbish but I can’t see how this process is harming anyone.
An example of working through pain
When you start point holding you cannot stay passive and just lie there expecting to just get better. Well you can. But not a lot may happen. The idea is to intensify your sensations. Scan your thoughts, and watch yourself. You may fall asleep for a while. You may go through any of the levels of emotion. You may be numb, teary, in fear, confused angry or even laugh.
Start dwelling and looking for thoughts and stories and memories (when have you felt like this before?). The burning will often increase when you hit the right thought or words. You may start with “I’m bored”, after saying this out loud you may suddenly get a spike in burning as you locate a memory or something else. Or you may just be lying there then suddenly a thought pops into your head and you are told the points just went up a notch. And it continues from there until “duality” or resolution (if any).
This is hard work. It is actually in some way easier when the pain is extremely high and enduring. For example you might be enduring serious burning with strong pain in your arm and you realise you are thinking “this is too hard why am I doing this?” Use this as a possible avenue to find the story. A smart facilitator will ask you to look for a time when you felt something was too hard. Intensify that feeling. Make the pain more… and the process beings, building it up, monitoring the burning until the memory becomes clear and duality eventuates (if it happens). The idea is to be right there again (in the original memory).
Or you may have absolutely nothing. Both you and the holders have fallen asleep and then you feel itchy. Start with the itching…. It may or may not lead anywhere. But you have to get on your bike and start pedaling. Drop the ego. Stop making assumptions and give it a go.
Not every sessions resolves or finishes with something amazing. There are many sessions where nothing but burning happens. Some people never receive memory. Some never try. Some get a lot of memory and quickly. Sometimes you try and try but nothing eventuates. Sometimes you wonder why you are doing this.
The need for thought, feeling and word
It is important to use thought feeling and word in combination to do this work. Word does not always have to be very loud or intense. It can sometimes be very quiet or in your mind. It depends on each pointholding and your experience doing the process. Sometimes you can’t say anything out loud so you just do what you can. Sometimes you only get word with no feeling for example. It’s not always a text-book scenario. Sometimes you are yelling your head off.
- During a pointholding session you almost always have burning to guide you
- Often where you start in pointholding session, and where you end up, are not what you expected
- I have seen and experienced many sessions when one avoids the pain/story and the points just keep burning. Sometimes for hours until the points cool down.
- I believe that this process helps develop emotional intelligence (in my opinion) and also humbleness
But why pointhold?
B.E. can definitely make a change in your life. I have heard many stories but in my own direct experience:
- My IBS has definitely improved and I attribute a lot of this to this process of point holding. Although I believe that the nutritional component of B.E. has also helped and is important I have noted that my digestion improves and becomes “normal” – daily bowel movements, no mucous, no pain or little gas” after a week or two of daily poitnholding only to have symptoms return after going back to daily life. This is despite maintaining the same nutritional and supplementary diet in my daily life.
- I’m not as depressed anymore. I used to hit strong lows. In fact if not for pointholding I wonder where I would be and what state my physical and mental health would be after uncovering a lot of trauma and resistances. I feel grateful that I have at least had an opportunity to go back and uncover this stuff. I didn’t really understand my self or my life when I was in my teens / early twenties. But now I am very aware of my past, decisions and myself. I can go through my past from early childhood to now, with a lot of understanding
- I have learned from going back and re-experiencing my past and seen some situations differently. Someimtes very differently (I’ve noticed many people can’t or are note able to do this and seem stuck in certain behaviours and viewpoints years and years later with any refusal to change).
- I’m much more emotionally intelligent and less reactive (I’m still human though)
- My eyes have changed colour; I have seen eye colour changes in other peoples eyes as well as irridilogical changes via eye photographs before and afters
- I have seen vertebra on other spines change. Particularly fusions and subluxations. I’m told this has happened to me via direct observation from others as we held those points but I never had x-rays or photos to verify this when that happened. Spines have reputedly straightened using the B.E. process and I believe that my spine has changed only slightly. My spine is still not good and perhaps i’ll never fix it but I have tried my best. The my new chiropractor compared my x-rays from 5 or so years ago and believes whatever I have done has prevented a lot more serious degeneration / potential issues for someone of my age and spinal issues.
- I have seen people re-experince many past events and in the duality process view those experiences differently and develop personally and with stronger character
- I have seen people re-expreince a lot of emotional trauma and to see that trauma have less impact on their lives
- I have seen pain and arthritis improve in spines, knees, arms and hips
- I have seen a face, after cranial points, looks many years younger (it was quite strikingly different)
- I have had some minor changes to my nose but it never full straightened so I ended up having surgery to fix my splayed bones (it’ll never be symmetrical)
- I know at least one person who would most likely be dead due to illness but after commencing B.E. lived and now thrives. And I wonder where I would be as well if not for B.E.
- While holding points if you have a session which involves a person in your life they often try and call you while you are the table or just after the session finishes. I have had this happen many times over the years.
- It is still ultimately unreliable. Dr Johns does make claims that you will just heal in an orderly and simple manner if you follow his teachings but I don’t think this is true. It has never completely fixed my spine, and people still die or have their symptoms worsen despite following the ins ructions doing it all right. Also some people just never get any memory or thoughts while on the table. Or refuse to look at them but I will never really know the answer to this.
- I see this as a biological rather than spiritual process. I believe that spirituality is personal.
- It can seriously challenge your belief systems, endurance, your relationships and even who you think you are. Your ego/ identity make become pretty shaken when hitting the fear level. If not careful you can become quite judgemental of others and also self righteous but I think this is something you naturally work through to a more humble state of mind
- I have also seen and experienced a lot of understanding, joy and laughter when hitting the enthusiasm level
Body Electronics, Breathwork and Nutrition 